Why NOFX is the best band of the past two decades

Eric Melvin took PCP
One night in Hollywood.
It was pretty funny.
He kept saying, "Help me"
Over and over again.
Then he started puking.
That was cool.
Then he passed out.
That was boring.
Oh well

...God dammit, that rules.

To recreate the scene

Epic homecoming post? ccccccheck.

Through the fog, shone Charlie Cardinal.

High Life was the drink of choice for the day. We went through a brick and box of 24 bottles. The first one was cracked a little after 8:30 a.m. Badass.

Zach, lookin' sexy. His phone was blowing up by 8 a.m.

Evan doing a Dante Love. oooooh, harsh.

Kyle, still drunk from the night before. This was maybe around 11.

Holy shit! This is the most jello shots I will ever see.

I think you missed the trash can, dude. About 30 times.

AMERICA.

Daddy's soup. High Life and gin.

Daddy drinking his soup. Shortly after this, he got busted by a female cop for peeing on the side of a building.

Baberam.

Who knew beer companies designed seasonal packaging.

Anna, talking to Elaine.

Evan, cowering away from the dude she apologized to for knocking over his grill and dumping food all over the ground.

Nap time. We bailed on tailgating at about 2 for sleep.

Christ. Nice park job, moron.

Park job, pt. 2.

Daddy likey!

Zolt, mean muggin'. Surprisingly, everyone seemed to get a little sun.

The following sequence will be called, "Zach has a camera".

BROS.

Check the teeth.

Zach loves Abe.

Megan, probably feeling 100% after Friday night.

I wish you could see the beer running out of my mouth and all over my shirt.

Kyle, puking up beer.

Post-Kyle and I being awesome.

Abram busting a jackass.

Ouch. Nice shot, Holt. Pat agrees.

Evan looking PSYCHED!

High Life Light. Half the calories, all the foam.

I don't know what this is supposed to be a picture of but it reminds me that as Kyle was getting busted for peeing, the cop said "zip it up" which he did and it resulted with him peeing on himself a little. So no one would notice, he just dumped beer all over his crotch.

This is the by far the best picture of the night and a perfect visual description of the night.

I wish I would have tried harder to figure out what was going on in here. This is what used to be Mexico, filled with people grinding all over each other. I couldn't hear any music so I have no idea what they were dancing to.

R.I.P.

Sup, babe? How many licks?

He takes a vodka drink, he takes a whiskey drink

Being drunk and home by 1:30 on a Thursday? God dammit. I might as well listen to Of Montreal, ride fixed, and only drink gin and tonics. I've lost all credibility I may have had previously. Which, apparently, is none.

Someone put a dead possum on our grill tonight and lit it on fire. If I find out who did it, there will be hell to pay.

Latterman rules.

Fuck you.

Goodnight.

One dead cop, no more donut shops

I just ate so much hummus that I think my bowels are about to revolt quicker than Boston against the Stamp Act.

Diarrhea is org.

Let America laugh.

Another short post from Saturday. I'd like to say it was an uneventful night, but no. No. Sometimes I get stuck on Evan's floor, and I'll be god damned if I won't get up for shit. Granted, it was pretty close to 3:30 and everyone left shortly after but, man, it was not one of my better performances.

Elaine is a nice cat. Probably the nicest I know. She likes to be pushed over and have her picture taken.

Maker's and cranberry is the best whiskey drink I've ever had.

Party at Brandon's. Wait, what? You can't tell this is a party? Looks like a regular soirée. A gathering of the towns biggest socialites.

...pfffffffffff. This is not an attack on Brandon or his party, but rather upon Mr. Party-Time, here. Good one, dude.

Sassy babes get dressed up. Some dude asked Evan for a kiss which is really, really funny. To me, at least.

Not a great picture, but I was trying to demonstrate how when we go places, our booze will typically make it through the party unscathed. High Life, Colt, and Sparks? Alright, I'm sure people would go for the Sparks.

Muncie, America's cutest small, midwestern town.

Nights like this won't be avoided, not by me

Jimmy John's cup and Old Style? Public drinking?

Nurses, Evangelicals, Wye Oak, and Prayer Breakfast turned out a pretty good crowd.

Justin diggin' Evangelicals. They sounded like the Shins and came to the after party.

Prayer Breakfast killed it as always.

DJ Bloodfaggot and his dus.

DJ Dillhole.

This party was by far better than last time. It may have been the best party I've ever been to. Definitely the most packed.

Probably Justice or some shit.

I will point out, I did not throw this party nor did either of my roommates. I found out about it Thursday. I didn't pay for this keg. $3 for a cup of foam. People were bummed.

Angus.

Julian showed up, crowd surfed, and almost got his head cut off by the fan.

Jesus, who invited Flav?

What up, Bro-ey?

Party-thrower number one, Bechtel. Him and Justin Spring brought the keg, the people, and ultimately, the party. They also matched their bandannas to their shirts.

This is right after we spotted Chase making out with this chick and yelled at him. COCK BLOCK. Bummer, bro.

Flavor Flav and now 16 year olds? What kind of party is this?

Friendship circle.

Naked, sweaty dudes dancing. Christ.

Ay bay-bay.

I think Anna was trying to look confused by the naked dudes. She looks more smug than anything.

BROS.

Julian's got a girlfriend. They're into each other.

Excuse me, Bubba? I think you spelled that wrong. It's F-o-r-s-t-e-r. We had to make a mid-party beer run to avoid drinking foam.

I'm just going to call this series of pictures the Brett Chronicles. Ever heard of a U-neck t-shirt?

Zach's siked on Brett's condition.

Personal Jesus.

The housewife from HELL.

This is probably my favorite picture of the night.

All in all, it was a killer party. Anyone who didn't make it, you blew it.