Payne did not carry a pistol and tried not to limp

This line is from The Bushwhacked Piano. It's by Thomas McGuane. I read Panama after Peter's suggestion. I wanted to see if that's how McGuane always writes. I'll let you know how I feel later.

I got A Crackup at the Race Riots by Harmony Korine. I have a feeling it's not going to be very good but I'm pretty genuinely interested in seeing how the fuck that guy writes. I'll let you know how it is.

I'm listening to Texas is the Reason and feeling weird about it. Listening to emo at 23 makes you wonder how psyched you would have been had you heard it at 16. I'm talking about real emo.

I saw this PSA today with Wanda Sykes telling kids that it isn't cool to refer to things as "gay" in lieu of "dumb" or "whacked". See that? I typed that like a square. Whacked? That's how your dad would type it. Anyway, that commerical was gay.

Enough of that. Jour, trois:

This was on the way to Laguna for our beach day. I like this because who gives a shit whether or not God surfs. Are there stickers like this for every hobby? God flies remote control airplanes. Kewl.

This is South Laguna Beach. Kind of like that MTV show but with less ugly blondes and more old fat dudes. I went to the real Laguna Beach too. It was sort of like that show. They didn't wear shirts very often and they played a lot of volleyball.

This is called the "ocean fog". It looks overcast but give it a few hours, around 2, and all this stuff is pushed inland. See the picture of my brother as an example.

This is a seagull. I threw a cherry pit at it. It tried to eat it. Seagulls are dumb.

This is a shithead kid sitting on his skimboard, contemplating whatever it is a 14 year old shithead from Laguna, California contemplates. Probably puka shells or some shit. Or the latest Wavves album.

This is my brother. He has a dent in his chest. This is right before he jumped into the ocean. Did I mention that the Pacific is fucking freezing? The water actually hurts your joints after 30 seconds.

This was at a tiny shop called "Sanchez' Soccer Shop" or "Garza's Soccer Shack" or "Valdez' Soccer Hut" or something like that. My brother wanted to look at jerseys. There was a tiny Mexican woman who was running the shop and by running the shop I mean she was watching Spanish television and not acknowledging anyone who came in.

Pretty much every city in California has signs like this. Total bummer.

Coming up next, Magic Mountain and pictures of the epic sunburn I got. sssssick.