I doubt I'll ever leave this place for years.

It's kind of stupid to do a best albums so far this year in November, because next month is December and then the year is over, which means there's still some shit yet to be released whatevz, I'm bored and Kyle kind of did this a few posts ago. Speaking of Kyle, he's been posting increasingly about how punk rules. To save the trouble of me explaining, read it. There's a link to it on here. I like when he talks about this. It reminds me of that one time I had friends I could talk to music about. Well, at least music I cared about. That's hard to do here at ol' Ball State. No one likes punk. Unless by punk, you overgeneralize with hardcore or some shit. I've seen a few kids who look punk this year, but they look like street punks or something. Or that they're into Anti-Flag. I saw this kid at a party a while back that had a Jawbreaker shirt on and I tried to tell him it ruled but he sucked and was either too taken aback by my excitement or just a turd. Either way, it was right after Good Luck played at the Back to School show at VGR. That show was fun. I got drunk off of beers in Jimmy John's cups and maybe a few drinks at Mad Hatter and then screamed every song. I was the only person besides Zach Melton and the band Good Luck toured with that knew them. Kind of a bummer considering three years ago, Muncie would have been all over them. Oh well... where was I? Oh yeah, albums so far this year:

We'll start with 7"s

Lawrence Arms - Buttsweat and Tears

Lemuria - Ozzy.

I liked the Strike Anywhere one, Iron Front. But just the 7".

Get Bent is broken up but I think the Dead It EP was just released like a month or so ago. If that's the case, that album is good. I like it better than the new Iron Chic.

Full lengths

Banner Pilot - Collapser duh.

Cobra Skulls - American Rubicon

I think the Chris Wollard album was actually released this year even though I had it way before but that one was good.

That may be it. This will be revised later obviously. Good bands have released mediocre stuff this year though. Teenage Bottlerocket was only alright. Dead to Me sucked. Chuck Ragan was boring. Lucero wasn't bad but I wouldn't say I loved it like these others. The new Andrew Jackson Jihad is alright. Non-punk stuff? The new Baroness is pretty badass. The new Graf Orlock was pretty alright. Have you guys heard Lady Gaga? Holy shit, so fucking good. Oh man, I cannot get enough of her/him. I mean, definitely the best.

That's all I've got really. Oh yeah, I got a Dreamcast for my birthday and I thought I'd be able to burn games but fuck that. I've wasted so many CD-Rs so far and gotten nowhere. Looks like I'm paying for them. Also, I went to Dave and Buster's for my birthday and that place is badass. I just wish they would have had some fighters. Okayi'mdonebye.

If you're gonna do a nose wheelie, fuckin' do a nose wheelie, bro!

Knocked two more off the summer reading list: Crack Up At the Race Riots and Bright Lights, Big City. Race Riots read pretty much like the screenplay for Gummo would. Not much more than a collection of sentences. Some were funny. Bright Lights was written by Jay McInerney, a supposed member of the "literary Brat Pack". Ellis, Tama Janowitz, and McInerney amongst others comprised this group and had little in common other than they were young, hip people writing about young, hip people. Bright Lights is if Less Than Zero were written in second person and Clay were a likable character. Or at least had any feelings. Whatevz, now I'm reading some Raymond Carver short stories. moving onnnnnn from snoozeville...

here's a cool guy I found:

I guess I'll do another day of tour de Californie. This one is short but I'll be back next time with LA.

My aunt took the day off and we spent the afternoon in Laguna visiting all the stupid little shops and watching teens head towards the beach to... well, surf or maybe get high or lay out and tan their hides or whatever it is kids do there.

This is a way cool license plate on a way cool and affordable Infiniti SUV. sike! You'd be amazed how few old vehicles exist in a town like Laguna. Everything on the road is post '08.

Speaking of cars, here's our whip during our stay. Nissan Shitter complete with missing wheel cover. Peep the next picture for evidence. When the rental car lady was showing me this car, she said "Are you sure you don't want something a little nicer? Maybe a convertible or something?" I proceeded to tell her how I have hundreds of millions of dollars in assets but I like to keep a low profile, nawmean?

kewl, thanks Enterprise!

This is probably Young Weezy or some shit.

This is my brother. Getting fresh for the art fair.

There is a summer long arts and crafts fair in the Laguna area. This is where we spent the evening, looking at old burnouts' endless beach paintings, crappy housewives' stupid jewlery and tons of discerning people walking around with wine making stupid comments. etc etc etc. Oh, and this band that played covers of 60s and 70s rock songs, complete with the tiniest baby man with a flame shirt and shredding so hard.

Gus #1

Gus #2

This guy made these weird replicas of old masters work with built up fabric and paint. It was kind of cool but his artist's statement was so dumb. Also, I touched this and a chunk fell off.

I think that's all I've got. The kids move back tomorrow. I hate move-in week so much. Fuck it. If nothing else, I'll get to see some underager get busted.

Umm, alright. L8.

Twenty some odd years and nothing's changed

This line is from a Fenix TX song. This song was stuck in my head all day the other day. I don't know why. Fenix TX was a shitty, juvenile pop punk band that got popular on Blink 182's coattails. They used to be called Riverfenix until his family threatened to sue. They also had a song about a big cock, as in a rooster. Fuck man, that's dumb.

Before I go into the next installment of my vacation, here is some more recent newz:

I've been playing Counter Strike. I have a cracked version that doesn't require Steam to play. If that means anything to you, you are a dork. I just have to play on specific servers that support non-Steam play. These guys/kids/children are all very good at this game. I haven't played in 7 years and thus, am terrible. The game is frustrating. Here is what it looks like:

My eternalbrah Peter used to call a similar game "War". I like that. I think my boss calls this game "Osama".

Here are some pictures from my phone. My phone has no backlight and barely functions as a phone. These are all mostly old.

This is a drawing I did. It's about if Fred Durst ruled his own universe.

This is Zach Holt. I'm not quite sure how we accomplished his Terminator eye but it's pretty rad.

This is a grey cat who is not my cat Gus. She was at Petsmart before I decided I needed a cat and she was very nice.

This is my real cat Gus. He's a pretty kewl little dewd.

This is one time after I woke my brother up really early and made him put this mask on so I could take his picture. He immediately went back to bed.

This is just some babe I know.

I just finished listening to an album by Algernon Cadwallader and Alice and Chains came on. I shut it off immediately but I felt pretty good about that first 5 seconds of Them Bones.

Okay, here's another day of California:

We forgot to bring CDs with us so we had to cop some from our uncle. I'm pretty sure only one (maybe two) of these are his. He has several older sons so I'm guessing that's how this...

...got in there. This album sucks, by the way. The PJ and Neil Young were much more tolerable.

I-5 takes you straight along the coast all the way north and all the way south. This is in LA and clearly the best street in California.

Welcome to Six Flags Magic Mountain! Also known as...

Man, I hope you dudes know what this is. Here's another one:


Here's a parking lot shot of a few of the coasters.

Let me say a little about ol' Magic Mountain. It's inland. That means it's very hot there. It's also pretty much in a desert. Which is tight but, as stated, it's hot as shit. This particular Six Flags was in danger of going bankrupt due to gang violence in the parking lot. People (white people) were afraid to go. They cleaned up that problem and dropped ticket prices. That really just means that there's no more violence but white people still don't go. That explained why my brother and I were within the 5th percentile of non-Hispanics in the park. That includes black. I've never felt more like a minority in my life, which was actual pretty refreshing. I saw real cholos. Which I understand is a derogitory term, but you know what I mean when I say it. This:

Just more summer-appropriately dressed. I'm talking tear drop tattoos and everything. A lot of the younger kids seemed to have adopted the "scene" look. That or being punk by wearing hoodies (in 98 degrees) with Casualties patches on the back. Whatevz, it was cool and the coasters were a blast.

Overall, it was well worth the $27. Here's a view of the mountains that surround the park. There is also an eagle or a hawk or a buzzard or a stork.

On the way home, my brother made it very clear to that it was imperative that he try In-N-Out. This burger joint is the epitome of California to midwesterners, somehow. It's actual pretty legit because they only have three things on the menu (that aren't sides i.e. fries, shakes, 'n shit). Those are: Double double, cheeseburger, hamburger.

Here's Eric and his first of several double doubles throughout our trip. Apparently, they're delicious but I don't eat meat cuz I'm a vegetarianPUSSSSAY.

As stated in my prior entry, I got a nasty sunburn at Laguna Beach. As everytime I go to a beach, my sunscreen is washed off my feet and they get torched. This was no exception. Then, I walked a zillion miles through a theme park with 20 coasters or some shit. Needless to say, my feet took a serious beating in my shoes and caused the following carnage.


-CAUTION- This picture is gnarly and most I've shown have been thoroughly disgusted. But I'll leave you with the image.



PEACE!

Payne did not carry a pistol and tried not to limp

This line is from The Bushwhacked Piano. It's by Thomas McGuane. I read Panama after Peter's suggestion. I wanted to see if that's how McGuane always writes. I'll let you know how I feel later.

I got A Crackup at the Race Riots by Harmony Korine. I have a feeling it's not going to be very good but I'm pretty genuinely interested in seeing how the fuck that guy writes. I'll let you know how it is.

I'm listening to Texas is the Reason and feeling weird about it. Listening to emo at 23 makes you wonder how psyched you would have been had you heard it at 16. I'm talking about real emo.

I saw this PSA today with Wanda Sykes telling kids that it isn't cool to refer to things as "gay" in lieu of "dumb" or "whacked". See that? I typed that like a square. Whacked? That's how your dad would type it. Anyway, that commerical was gay.

Enough of that. Jour, trois:

This was on the way to Laguna for our beach day. I like this because who gives a shit whether or not God surfs. Are there stickers like this for every hobby? God flies remote control airplanes. Kewl.

This is South Laguna Beach. Kind of like that MTV show but with less ugly blondes and more old fat dudes. I went to the real Laguna Beach too. It was sort of like that show. They didn't wear shirts very often and they played a lot of volleyball.

This is called the "ocean fog". It looks overcast but give it a few hours, around 2, and all this stuff is pushed inland. See the picture of my brother as an example.

This is a seagull. I threw a cherry pit at it. It tried to eat it. Seagulls are dumb.

This is a shithead kid sitting on his skimboard, contemplating whatever it is a 14 year old shithead from Laguna, California contemplates. Probably puka shells or some shit. Or the latest Wavves album.

This is my brother. He has a dent in his chest. This is right before he jumped into the ocean. Did I mention that the Pacific is fucking freezing? The water actually hurts your joints after 30 seconds.

This was at a tiny shop called "Sanchez' Soccer Shop" or "Garza's Soccer Shack" or "Valdez' Soccer Hut" or something like that. My brother wanted to look at jerseys. There was a tiny Mexican woman who was running the shop and by running the shop I mean she was watching Spanish television and not acknowledging anyone who came in.

Pretty much every city in California has signs like this. Total bummer.

Coming up next, Magic Mountain and pictures of the epic sunburn I got. sssssick.

Punk is the new black

Kyle was in town last night and he left this afternoon so now I'm thoroughly bummed. To fill the void left by my eternal bro, here's day two of Californication. You know, like that RHCP song.

We had a rental car so basically, every night before we went to bed we'd decide what to do the next day. We caught wind of a shred park in San Clemente, about 20 minutes south of San Juan Capistrano, where we were staying with my aunt. LE'S DO IT.

My brother said, "Give me your camera". This is what he took a picture of. He said, "It's a Faggio, you know, from San Andreas". Referring to Grand Theft Auto. It was weird.

This is San Clemente skatepark. When skating blew up five years ago or whatever, California wanted to give kids a place to do it so they weren't grinding ollies all over their walls and shit. They found companies that would do it the cheapest who had no idea how to build skateparks. This park (and countless others just like it) was the result. Thrasher calls them "Certified Pieces of Suck". It was pretty fun though. There was also this total SoCal barney with high tube socks and Half Cabs getting gnarly on the tranny. His shirt said something about drinking a lot of beer.

After the skatepark, we went to the beach. Naturally.

I found at that when shoppping for beach front real estate, you only pay for the plot. My aunt said a lot of the time, people will just tear down the houses and rebuild when they buy a new plot. Oh yeah, those properties are worth around 4 million.

This is San Clemente pier. Hispanic folks fish off of it. You're really not supposed to do that because the bait attracts seagulls. They don't give a fukkk.

Surfer brahs! These guys were pussies. They'd pass on all the good waves and jump on these little shitters that didn't even break half of the time. Also, the Pacific is frigid. I can't imagine what it must be like to sit out there all day. But hey, whatever gets you laid.

This is a cat. He was mangy. I don't think he lived at the house he was chilling in front of.

This is my aunt's lemon tree. It's pretty tight to have a lemon tree in your front yard.

Next up, beach day and epic sunburns! I'll probably talk about food too. Catch you guys on the flipside.

People are afraid to merge on freeways in Los Angeles

I'm just going to do these one day of the trip at a time because I don't want to spend the time posting eight days worth of photos and writing witty commentary for each. I can only shell out so much funny at a time, nawmean?

el primer dia:

My first flight in, uhhh, 21 years. This is the view right out of Indianpolis. kewl.

Our airline was Frontier. I had never heard of this airline before. Each plane had a different animal on its wings. They had names. My favorite was Grizwald, the Grizzly Bear.

Have you ever paid $6 to watch Tom and Jerry for an hour and 55 minute flight? God, I hope not. I wish I had a printout of how many people paid to watch TV. It was also $8 for a movie. The movies consisted of Pink Panther 2 and Inkheart.

This little dewd's foot kicked my elbow the whole way from Denver to San Diego. sssssick. Instead of being an asshole to his parents, I just shoved my camera behind me and took his picture a bunch.

Seeing the Grand Canyon from a plane is like listening to a live album.

After the rental car company made me sign a bunch of paperwork that I had no idea what any of it meant, we spent our first day at the SD Zoo. It's massive at 100 acres and is one of the best in the world.

When it's hot out, the animals just tend to chill like this meerkat. I wondered how many kids said that this dude was Timon. Or do kids even know who that is anymore?

The zoo boasts the most koalas outside of Australia. They aren't in cages at all because they're too lazy and love eucalyptus too much to go anywhere. I like koalas. They look like Gus.

An otter trying to score a tan. Speaking of which, there are a lot of disgustingly tan people. Meemaws and pop pops tend to have the best leather-skin tans.

Red pandas are one of those animals that would make badass pets. How much would that rule? Waking up with one of these dudes at your feet?

Okapis are tight because they're like part zebra, part... something else.

This was one of those exhibits where people flip their shit and dads knock over other kids and grannies to get a video of the sleeping tigers. Those tigers would like to eat the dads.

Tapirs are fucking weird.

This mandrill was weird because it stared out at all the people the whole time. It makes you wonder what this dude would be thinking if he could, you know, think.

Fucking dinosaur bird, man.

Click on this picture for the larger version and you can see a big male gorilla, which is pretty badass. This was taken from a skytram thing which was cool because you could see the whole park as well as a lot of San Diego.

There was this huge, awful mural outside the Giant Panda exhibit that was borderline racist with squinty-eyed guys and dragons and yin-yangs and shit. It looked like they brought in a bunch of different people to paint pandas and this guy on the left was definitely the best. I may need to appropriate it into a painting.

Oh yeah, the pandas. Umm, there was a 2 hour line because they're like one of a few in zoos in the world. We didn't bother waiting because pandas don't do much. Also, you can watch them online at:

http://www.sandiegozoo.org/pandacam/index.html

Stairway, eeerm, walkway to heaven. This would have been a nice convenience had it taken us somewhere we hadn't already been about five times. kewl.

They make tequila out of agave plants. Tequila makes future Rock of Love contestants.

and in the words of my immortal homie, DRE

...so just chill, until the next episode.